Mojo hit the Go-Kart track once again. This time in Birmingham.

It's not all work at Mojo! We decided to have a Christmas dodgem race - er, Karting race, here are the combatants excuses, one by cheating one....

JOE (Bringing up the rear, Thanks to Dan): It was a cold, wet Tuesday morning in Birmingham and the Mojo team were ready to race go-karts! We all set off after putting on the fetching overalls! and had five minutes to get used to the track... I hit the first corner and thought to myself how the hell I am going to do well in these conditions and with a dodgy thumb I just had ten stitches out of (CP, drinking injury?!). As I came round a few more bends and started to see karts flying off the track all over the place I thought I might be able to pull a result out of the bag. After the five minute warm up we all lined up on the grid, I was in the middle of the group. Within 10 minutes of racing I must have spun the kart at least 7-8 times, straight away I knew I was in last place. After having a few battles with the lads (as I was getting lapped!) and losing every one, I wasn’t taking it quite as seriously! So I thought, time to get my drift on!... I think if it had been dry and if I had been fully fit I would give some of the lads a run for their money (well, maybe Ross at least!). All in all it was a good day out, thanks Mojo!

ROSS (Not quite last, but almost, certainly because of Dan): I didn't win the race because of two people. Number one was Mr Jack Frost, he was out and he was out for PAIN!!! He froze my hands so much I thought they were going to fall apart just like the T1000 in Judgement Day when he was covered in liquid nitrogen. The second person who stopped me from winning was Mr Dirty Dan Stanbridge. Dan will do anything to win. His technique for over taking was to sneak up behind and without warning ram the back of the Kart, which then sent you spinning on the wet track into the grass and tyre wall. Dan is a dirty, dirty man, I don't like him, FACT!!!

ChrisP (Shoulda, woulda, coulda): Had the worst kart of the bunch, honest! managed the slowest lap time of the day, can't blame Dan for my result because he only rammed me off the track once, but I would've been on the podium if he hadn't done that.

TOM E(6th, probably Dan's fault?) I didnt win because of someone's sneeky ninja move that wiped me out onto the grass in the first lap. No one wants to own up to it but I'll just blame it on devious Dan like everyone else. (CP no-one else involved, driver error!)

ROBBIE JONES (5th, apparently Dan's fault): I didn't win because of that cheating Dan Stanbridge, major failure in the talent department! I didn’t have my disco daps on.

TIM SMITH (4th, just missing out on the podium, because of Dan): The weather conditions made the race interesting, that and the no contact rule going way, way, way out of the window from the start. I thought that Dirty Dan Stanbridge running me into the tyre wall was very unsporting on lap one.

TIM WILLIAMS (It was definitely Dan's fault I didn't win): After the first turn of the first lap it was clear (unlike my visor) that driving a kart with slicks in the wet would require supreme concentration. What chance did we have! CP was clearly wishing he was on his Enduro bike as he went straight for the grass (and into Ross who was already parked there!) after about 5 seconds on the session! After a steady practice/qualifying session I was satisfied with my second place on the grid although I knew this was going to be a race of attrition! I had Pete ‘Kubica’ in front and Stanny behind. The Race was on! A clean start meant that I missed the inevitable first corner carnage in the midfield - me, Pete and Stanny were away. For the next 30 minutes it was a case of trying not to spin and lose time which was so tough in the conditions. The first 3 positions changed a number of times between me, Pete and Stanny usually when someone span! At one point both Pete and Stanny span leaving me with a comfortable lead which was unfortunately reduced to nothing a few laps later when I was about to lap a back marker who wanted to race (Cheers CP!) This brought the three of us back together for another tussle. Don’t be fooled by Stanny’s polite demeanor, when he’s racing there’s no more Mr. Nice Guy. One second I’m leading, the next I’m facing the other way heading for the tyres backwards! Cheers ‘Dirty Dan’ After my assisted spin third was all I could hope for, Stanny and Pete were long gone and I had a big lead over fourth. I pushed hard to close the gap to them but the damage was done! See you next time Dan………..

PETE (2nd place, due to Dan's unsportingly not letting his mechanic for the last two years get by!): The track was wet and mega slippery. It was pretty funny seeing Ross and Chris going into the tyres on the first corner. It was NOT funny me hitting the BIGGEST puddle on the same lap (having to race for 30 mins with a completely soaked ass ain't fun:). I won the quali' but the race didn't go that well. I had one too many spins and finished 2nd. Overall I had a "sick" time drifting around the track and taking out my mates!!

DIRTY DAN STANBRIDGE (1st): No excusses.